As the full moon approaches, feel the wind invade the strands of your hair, working its way to your scalp, massaging. The earth from all corners is touching your skin with the tussle of the wind. I am there with you, and in the hurricane’s embrace, am indulged to share another HSR interview. Thank you Farhaana for the flirt, for your story, for your journey.
Farhaana and I came across each other in the audience of Rivers of Honey. She is something of a regular, and I like to say hello, give a hug, a kiss, and for years, we practiced this ritual. This past May, however, when I went to greet her, I noticed a change in her energy. I immediately checked in. Turns out, she was en route to a journey, the mountains of Nevada, on a spiritual quest of some sort. Without mention, I knew that she was entering her Saturn. Fresh into 27, hear the subtleties of Farhaana’s story and let’s wish her a blissful, albeit bumpy, journey, as she experiences her Saturn.
Farhaana Washington, 27
Place of Birth: New York City
Currently Resides: Brooklyn
Sun Sign: Aries
HSR: Hi Farhaana. This Her Saturn Return interview will be about your Saturn experience as it is now. You will tell me about your journey, the turns, and the moments of question, whatever you like, really. Does that sound good?
Farhaana: Sounds good.
HSR: Great. So let us begin.
Tell me, you’ve said that Saturn has wrung true for you in the past few moments of changes in your life. What did you mean by that? What’s going on with you?
Farhaana: Well currently I am fed up with one of my jobs and I am about to quit the job, I am also looking to move. I’d like to leave the city for the most part.
HSR: Wow, so a complete travel – a U-Haul! What about family? Are you close to your family? Are you living with them?
Farhaana: I am finished with old relationships & I feel like a rupture is happening in me… Do you mean, leaving family where I am now? Yeah, I live with siblings and we’re not as close as we used to be.
HSR: Ahh, and does living at home have to do with the rupture? Or is that more work related?
HSR: What kind of work do you do? What happened exactly?
Farhaana: I work in direct services, I assist families, provide some therapy and assessment in their homes.
HSR: Is that terribly exhausting by nature, or is it just not your dream job? Do you feel as if you once loved it and no longer have a passion for the work? What shifted there?
Farhaana: I enjoy the work with families, the issue is that some of my co-workers and supervisors are arrogant, hostile, and cruel. I actually lost some interest in going into social work as a result.
HSR: Have you made actual steps toward moving on, or are you at a place of contemplation?
Farhaana: I am contemplating. I am placing more attention on my photography. I’ve been editing my website, and I am about to get into street vending. I want to combine my art with my passion in healing therapy. I want my photos to translate that to people.
HSR: Show me your website.
HSR: Wow! I like the choice of music. And your pics of Lorraine look amazing by the way. The site rings a spiritual tone. Are you a spiritual person? And are you trying to make money from your photography?
Farhaana: Interesting that you say that. Those are questions I am asking myself.
HSR: Tell me more about that… How does your spirituality inform your decision making, or how you decide whether to contemplate only or make moves… does your spirituality inform this process?
Farhaana: I am Zen Buddhist. Meditation is central to my practice. I call in ancestors and spirits to guide my path, and I speak to them about what I am contemplating. I ask for clarity and generally it comes to me in reality, but also in dreams. I dream every night.
HSR: Let’s backtrack a bit. You have decisions to make regarding work and homelife. What about love?
Farhaana: I think about it. I envision the type of woman I’d like as a lover. The current women I have encountered have all been heart breakers.
HSR: And what is she like, your dream woman?
Farhaana: She has a great sense of humor, she’s insightful, beautiful inside & out, loving, great integrity and emotional maturity etc. Ultimately, she accepts me for who I am.
HSR: And so far, you’ve had bad experiences? Tell me about your last relationship with someone you considered a partner.
Farhaana: I think about her sometimes. I loved her. We bonded well when we met, & we loved spending time together telling stories. One thing I really liked about her is that she accepted my masculinity & femininity she didn’t favor one over the other. And she liked my masculine characteristics. What went wrong was her work schedule shifted and she made little to no time for anything else. That caused problems since we were so early in. The distance or rather, her absence, became too much for me.
HSR: How long were you two together?
Farhaana: Only for 7 months. We met at a community workshop & things shifted about 4 months in our partnership.
HSR: Well, that’s in some ways natural for relationships to shift at that stage. But you mentioned that he accepted your masculinity and femininity. Do you have issues with your gender expression in other realms of your life?
Farhaana: Previous partners including family & some friends have consistently only wanted me to express my femininity. They rejected my masculinity. Yet, I love my fluidity for the most part. At times I get insecure about my femininity.
HSR: What do you mean insecure?
Farhaana: Well, I get concerned about how safe it is. Sometimes I don’t feel safe being feminine. I get too much unwanted cis-male attention as someone who presents feminine.
HSR: Sounds as if you are embodying two spaces almost? Masculine and feminine. How then does your spirituality inform your entire process of transformation and transition?
Farhaana: My sexuality and those two energies are tied spiritually. I had a dream that led me to awaken to my sexuality. It was a male & female space I sensed it is my soul. And I always feel both female and male inside.
HSR: Since you feel as if that female and male centered space is a spiritual space, how will it inform you on your road ahead?
Farhaana: Good question, I am not sure. I feel like I am exploring my masculinity a lot more now. And because of that I have been addressing patriarchy and the impacts it has on society’s behaviors.
HSR: Okay, so to bring it all full circle. How have your job, your home life, your relationships all fallen apart, and then, do you feel as if you have a hold on it?
Farhaana: It seems to be connected, it seems to all be falling apart together. I realize I have the same desire for all three, to move into something new. I have very little idea about how it’s coming together; I just feel great rage from time to time. I am speaking up more than ever before, that’s for sure (Laughs)
HSR: That’s very insightful. According to your chart, your Saturn is in Sagittarius. An astrological site picked at random: http://alabe.com/freechart/ says this means:
Saturn is in 21 Degrees Sagittarius.
Basically quite conservative, you respect traditional authority figures and are very thankful and supportive of the laws and institutions which govern your life. You learn and accept new ideas only after having very thoroughly examined them. Ideals and abstract concepts are important to you only if they can be used in some practical fashion. You are so practical and so orderly that you have natural skills in planning, administrating and organizing.
It seems like this means you will require the need for rules and constructs to evolve before making any next steps. Where do you see yourself in five years?
Farhaana: I am thinking of starting an organization or a group or something. I want to be engaged in a community with specific goals.
HSR: Seems like you can have anything that you want, especially since your Saturn sign is all about systems. It is just the beginning for you and there is plenty of time to consider these things.
Oh, also, I almost forgot to mention, tell me little about your trip to Nevada.
Farhaana: I had a really good time in the Nevada landscape. It was a bit hard to go back home. I felt at peace; it also inspired me to dig more research into the history of native people in the South West. I cried many times because everywhere was compact with great beauty. I’m inspired to travel more.
HSR: Is there anything else you’d like to say for your HSR interiview?
Farhaana: Yeah. Shawn, you’re beautiful and I like you (smiles).
HSR: Oh! Are you flirting with me?
Farhaana: I just wanted to let you know, and I didn’t get to say it before. I dig your presence. Thanks for interview it was really helpful.
HSR: Well, thank you, Farhanna. I dig your presence too! And happy to hear that the interview was helpful.