For the first time, I used facebook for good. Jasmine Powers came across my website from an interview on Elixher.com. After Jasmine and I exchanged a few emails, we decided to chat via facebook, and so, to maintain the essence of archival provenance, I’d like to keep the time code, and chat line breaks visible.
After our interview, Jasmine and I have become friends. We live in very different parts of the country, yet, we talk every day, whether virtually or over the phone, once even on skype. Together, we’ve gotten through the tumultuous holidays, and I intend to meet her in person when she actually decides to make yet another big move across the country. She is a healer in so many ways, and I do indeed, feel bonded to her in spirit. We’ve become so close, that my birthday present to myself, is completing the edit and upload of her interview. Happy birthday to me, by sharing her story with you. Say hello to the powerful and most spiritually intentional Jasmine Powers.
Age: 27 years
Birthday: Feb 24 1984
Sun Sign: Pisces
Hey Jasmine, it’s Shawn, from HSR. Are you still up? It’s midnight for me. I’m sitting beside a bottle of wine, and my lap top is open to you. If you are here, so am I!
I am here. I could use a bottle of wine!
How are you?
A tough night, but I am moving through it
How are you?
Do you feel like you are ready to do an interview… does this feel good to you?
I’m doing well
I’m ending a conversation with my sister… give me five minutes
okay, take your time.
ok, I’m back
I am here
so, first I have to ask,
what led you to stumble upon the site?
I believe I stumbled across it from Elixher.com
So, you read the interview then.
I was curious about you and your site, so I begin to search
Wow, well, I’m glad you found me!
So, tell me, I know you are a Pisces.
Do you know much about your Saturn in Scorpio?
I can email you a photo copy of the insert of the chapter
A little bit, I really just started getting into reading about what my Saturn return really means
I would love that
Ok, I’m searching for it in my email while we chat
a little copyright infringement…
I photocopied a piece of the chapter
from Surviving Your saturn return
the book that got it all started
but until you read it
tell me, how has life been for you since you turned 27? Have you noticed any shifts?
When I turned 27, I realized that I had not been showing as my true, authentic self.
I realized that the career that I had been “chasing” was no longer fulfilling
There was something missing for me.
What career was that?
Currently I work in Renewable Energy as an Occupational Health and Safety Manager
I help build Wind Farms
Wow, that sounds exciting, exotic, fulfilling!
Is that where you found something was missing?
Yes, and in my personal life as well
Or is that where you found your next step?
ahh, so you are not being fulfilled in this current career path?
Hmm, what do you think is missing?
The connection with real people
It is a very corporate, and very money driven
So, are you stuck in a lab most of the time then?
Actually no, I travel alot
Are you still there?
I work alot, so I am often very burnt out and too tired to do anything
What is it that you would like to be doing?
I am still there
I would like to support others on their path
Not exactly sure what title
What does that look like to you
It is a noble calling, I must say.
I’m a librarian, and I find that that is part of what I love about my positions, the ability to connect with and respond to people’s immediate needs
It looks like me spending time with people coaching them.
they come to me knowing what they want
Writing motivational tools for people
Have you considered being a librarian… far from where you are, I know!
Actually no, I have not
Writing; do you consider yourself a writer as well?
Actually I don’t, at least not right now.
Well, you have a lot of redefining it seems.
I am somewhat intimidated by writing, because of what it often reveals
Interesting… Are you originally from Colorado?
No, I am from Detroit
I moved here almost three years ago
And more importantly, if you want to help people from their paths, then, it seems you would have to reveal some of your own experience, journey, and path, no?
Yes, That is the place that I am now. Opening up and showing all of me, including my experiences.
Okay, so, now I’m listening… Tell me your experiences. You say you had issues with your personal life
For many years I have been very insecure. I ran from myself…My true self
I buried a lot of pain
Somewhere along the way, I lost my voice
I lived for other people
I never stood up for myself
it was always about everyone else’s advice
There were so many things unsaid
I lost my sense of self and started to really not like myself as I was
I was always trying to change to fit into what I though others wanted me to be
I battled with my feminine and masculine
Some of this seems hard to believe, because just from your photos, and the power and conviction and intention that you hold and command through your words. You seem so beautiful. And I mean that from a non-textual perspective, from your own self-projections as they existed in our small interactions
I dated women that were very destructive to my path
I never resolved the pain of losing my mother and grandmother at young age
Tell me a story, one example of how you realized you were dating someone who was self-destructive.
You should read my blog Need. Need. Want. Fail
I’m going to also ask you about your familial ties… and the masculine/feminine war
Well one person in particular, I fell in “Love” with her.
She was fresh out of a relationship and was still had ties with her ex
Her ex was still living with her
haha, sounds like NYC
she would assure me that the ex was leaving and for a short time she did
We had our “fairy tale”
but when her mom passed away, her ex showed up again.
next thing you know, I find out they are getting married
so, she essentially said that you weren’t enough
I put aside work and school to be around her all day to make sure the ex was not around
how old were you when that happened?
Ah, so you became obsessive
There goes a self-destructive characteristic.
I was about 24
yes, very obsessive
and how long were you two together?
or, rather, how old were you when it finally ended?
Ok, so it wasn’t something that took too long to past through your system
And what about most recently
You mentioned that you were just getting over something
did it also coincide with your obsessive tendencies?
Not this time.
what was different in this recent scenario?
But it did put me in space of “not being enough”
Well we dived into a relationship
We thought we knew other, because we had known each other for years, but we really did not know each other as partners
with your job/career not being enough, and your relationships telling you that you are also not enough… how do you see this pattern as something you can control? Or something you can detect?
Yes, I totally see the pattern. This is part of the pain that I have experienced.
Well that I am experiencing
was it your maternal grandmother that you lost at an early age?
My paternal, we were very close
She helped raised me
And do you talk to either of them? Your mother or your paternal grandmother, now that they have transitioned?
Do you still feel connected to them, their spirits?
Yes I do
Can you tell me a little about that?
How has this connection has served you?
My grandmother yes, My mother no
Well I lost my mother when I was 14 and my grandmother when I was 15.
How do you communicate now?
Now, I usually go into a deep meditation when it comes to my mother. I usually do not feel her, almost like she hides from me.
With my grandmother, she is always around.
When I feel strong, I know she is supporting me.
I have written letters to both of them in the past was well.
I often talk to my grandmother.
My mother not so much…But I do get angry at her often
Perhaps your anger at your mother is a form of communication, that feeling.
Do you think it is yours, or something that you share?
It’s wonderful that your grandmother is with you.
I think we share it
Do you wonder if her guidance is a part of what is missing for you?
My grandmother? Or Mother?
My mother no…..She, she did not provide much guidance for me.
Well, I was referring to your grandmother… but now that you mention it, perhaps I meant your mother too
Yes I do miss my grandmother’s guidance
It’s worth a shot, to personify them both; instead of missing your grandmother, simply talking to her, knowing that she is there, for real…
yes it is much worth a try
You know, Saturn in Scorpio totally resonates with me
Darkness, death, shedding, penetrate, re-born
In Scorpio, the golden term is Transformation
Yes, it is a term that personifies my experiences. The questions that we ask of ourselves when our Saturn is in Scorpio
definitely take me place. Places deeply into myself.
When I was 19 I was a stripper for a year. I was obsessed with being able to control another with my body.
And you are in the middle of it, your Saturn, so you may have a ways to go before the questions are answered/resolved, if you understand what that could even look like.
What next? How do you envision a future for yourself? What are your hopes for you?
Well I plan to relocate first and foremost
Where will you go?
Besides deeper in yourself?
I am thinking of the East
I plan to visit Philly for my bday to get a feel
I want to change careers
I want to start writing again
I never asked, about your masculine/feminine war
before we end, can you tell me about that?
I was sexually molested by my mother once
She was totally male in that moment.
As I grew up, I became very male with my body and how I wanted to control others with it
Have you forgiven her for that?
Honestly, no, I haven’t.
I know you haven’t
Do you intend to?
The time may be near.
I need to
It may be more powerful than you realize when you do, a freeing…
Yes, The power of forgiveness.
Love may replace the fear
Of course there is love in you.
You are a manifestation of Love!
Does that experience make you not want to embrace your masculinity?
Or does it complicate your empowerment of masculinity?
I actually enjoy my masculinity.
The issue is in allowing both the masculine and feminine to share the same space
Or not feeling like I have to be one of the other.
I understand that more than you know…
My profile pic is an example of a me that is hidden most times, but always present
Still, my femme/feminine is so true
Yes. Actually that was the picture that intrigued me
There is such mystery
It’s a birthright that I have, to always embody all of myself.
It was a candid shot, believe it or not
but back to you
I believe it…Yes
Your story is so interesting, your journey so full!
Yes very full
Is there anything else that you’d like to share with the world of Saturnistas?
This is such a sacred, yet uncomfortable journey, but the time is now….no turning back
I like your sense of urgency!
Yes, I feel like I am spiritually pregnant and If I don’t give birth…It will kill me
I feel that way about my spirituality and my future child
you are right; it will kill you.
And we have no choice but to live
So, unless there is anything else. Then I must say congratulations, you’ve completed your Saturn return interview.
This was very liberating for me
This was perfect
why I do this.
I needed to hear your story.
Because it helps me to get through the moments, when I feel isolated, and subsumed by my own experience,
I’ve been on a roller coaster, or more like a spinning wheel, running extremely fast.
Getting to the same place.
You are very much so supported.
Thank you Jasmine.
It is wonderful to hear about women who meditate.
who are in tears over their own abilities to get through the hardest time they’ve ever known.
yes, I fit my life around meditation
Wait… What is your grandmother’s name?
Her name is Mildred.
Okay, thank you,
Jasmine Rae Powers, granddaughter of Mildred Powers