Spirit Interview 4 -Lenn Keller

Lenn Keller at 27

Lenn Keller self-portrait in photo booth, Berkeley, CA, age 27

Lenn Keller
Age: 59
Sun Sign: Libra
Saturn: Libra

HSR:
So Lenn, thanks for interviewing with Her Saturn Returns. So, to start with the basics, during your Saturn, you were a Libra on Libra! Is that right?

Lenn:
Yes, I have an exact conjunct with my sun sign and Saturn sign!

HSR:
And you are currently experiencing a second Saturn return.  But let’s start with your first.  When you were turning 30, were you aware of your Saturn, and what it meant?

Lenn:
Oh hell yes! I had been into astrology since I was in my late teens, and was actually dreading it. I got a book called Saturn: A New Look At an Old Devil by Liz Green, which helped a lot.

HSR:
Ha, I have that book! It is really helpful in understanding Saturn.  Saturn in Libra usually demarcates challenges in relationships. Do you find that this was true for your experience?

Lenn:
Yes, I had some serious challenges. I played a major part in a relationship ending and entered into a hellish one.

HSR:
Were you dating women during that time?

Lenn:
Yes, I had been with women for about 5-6 years at that point.

HSR:
And, so, how was one relationship “hellish”? why did you end the first one?  Please share…  You knew I was going to ask!

Lenn:
(Laughs) Okay, well there were a number of issues, but for the one and only time in my life, I cheated on a girlfriend.  It was a one-night-stand with a woman that I was sexually curious about because she was a true femme fatale.  Anyway, I (through massive stupidness) compounded the problem further and my girlfriend left me.  I was heartbroken, but in hindsight I know she probably would have left anyway.

Saturn Cycle

"Saturn Cycle xeroxed flyer, made during my first Saturn return" -Lenn Keller

She married a man a few years later, and has two kids. The hellish relationship was with a woman who (from my perspective) was ridiculously mean. She had some serious ‘issues” that had absolutely nothing to do with me.  I sort of knew that then and see it very clearly now.

HSR:
I’m curious about this hindsight that you have.  Did you see any patterns in yourself that transformed once you’ve crossed over, and survived your Saturn?

Lenn:
Well, prior to that point, I had been chronically depressed. Through a very traumatic event in the “hellish” relationship, I had a major revelation and literally gave up depression.

HSR:
WOW!  That’s a huge triumph. I would love to hear that as a guaranteed hurdle to overcome since so many women in the community are suffering from depression.  How does one just “give it up”?

Lenn:
Being depressed, and then just giving it up like that was a trip.  I had a realization that I actually had a choice with my depression, and I decided that I had worked that particular pattern enough, really.  I saw that very clearly, and I have never been depressed like that again in my life. I’ve had a few moments when I’ve felt kind of down, but never sunk as low again.  Even now, periods of sadness just don’t last long for me.

HSR:
So, it’s the realization of choice that does the trick.  Mind over emotions?

Lenn:
Yes, it’s realization of choice definitely. I know you’ve heard this before but it’s true. We can’t control external circumstances, but we absolutely can control how we respond.  I don’t mean to say we can or should “control” our emotions. I don’t mean to say suppress, not at all. But I realized that I was indulging myself.  I don’t know how else to say it.

HSR:
I think you said it well.  Other people I know mentioned that they experienced a death when their Saturn returned. Was that the case for you during that time?

Lenn:
In that instance, I came very close to a literal death, and I would say I had a spiritual re-birth for sure.  I’ve actually had several “near death” experiences in my life before and after my first Saturn Cycle.  By that I mean, by all accounts I should have died, but somehow survived. During those experiences, I did a life review, went through many emotions and then and surrendered in peace to crossing over.  One of those times, I almost drowned to death in an irrigation canal in Modesto — just remembered that. A friend who was a junkie and an ex-surfer from Southern California rescued me when I was going down the third time.  I really thought I was a goner that time.

HSR:
Lenn, it seems like you are in touch with Spirit.  I call these interviews Spirit Interviews because I think it is important to invite Spirit into the challenges and misfortunes so we can see them as lessons learned from a greater force. Spirit and Saturn playing a card game.  Your friend’s grasp was Spirit, as an example.

Lenn:
(Laughs) I love it!  Yes, I’ve been in touch with Spirit all of my life. I started meditating when I was 19. One of my favorite films when I was in my 20s was the 7th Seal by Ingmar Bergman in the 50s, which is about a knight during the Crusades, who plays a chess game with death.

HSR:
I have that film, encased in plastic, and never saw it.  Maybe now I will open it.  Now that you are no longer in your 20s, let’s talk about that fact that you are currently experiencing a second Saturn return.  How is it going? Do you feel more experienced having gone through it a single time already?

Lenn:

Lenn Keller at 59, a Self-Portrait

Yes, I’m going through my second return now and it’s challenging in its way. But the beautiful part is, if you keep on breathing, are tuned into Spirit and you’re paying attention, life will gift you the wisdom and strength you need to deal with any challenges. So having gone through my first Saturn Cycle and having so much life experience since then, I have learned a great deal about myself. I believe I’m a much wiser, stronger, and resilient person now. My spiritual goal and personal definition of success is to become absolutely fearless in the face of whatever life might bring — to be able to remain joyful, peace-filled, and aware of the larger perspective no matter what is going. Let me be more specific — my Saturn is in Libra. Saturn asks us to examine and make corrections in how we relate, and Libra has to do with, among other things, balance, harmony, justice and relationships, so for me this means committing to relating in a way that truly serves myself and the whole. When I was younger, I sometimes gave myself permission to be involved in relationships that didn’t serve me, but being a lot more conscious and self-loving, I’ve come to a place in my life, where I simply won’t allow that anymore under any circumstances.

HSR:
Do you have any words to guide young community members on how to embrace spirit, or what that looks like for you, especially when surviving Saturn?

Lenn:
Yes, thank you so much for asking. The one thing I would say is learn how to meditate.  Meditation is key. It allows you to observe your mind, emotions your self, which allows you to become aware of and get in tune with your TRUE SELF.

HSR:
So, meditation is a portal, then?

Lenn:
Yes, meditation is the portal for sure! Check it — we put gas in our cars. Every night we re-charge our cell phones, but what do we do for our selves, our own souls and minds?  Meditation allows us to plug in and re-charge at the source of our origins, whatever you want to call it.

HSR:
Well said Lenn! Well said.  So, please tell the people who you are, since you are a celesbian, afterall.

Lenn:
Oh my! (Laughs) I’ll put it like this: My avatar is a black butch lesbian, artist, spiritual activist, photographer, filmmaker, mom, sister, friend, freak of the week etc. etc. but who I am, well let’s just say I’m a mystery. (Laughs)

HSR:
Is there anything that you’d like to add to young queer women of color currently or about to or reflective of their Saturn Return?

Lenn:
I would say, embrace your Saturn Return and any other life challenges as opportunities for growth. Do all you can to fulfill your highest human potential because the earth needs you now!

HSR:
Perfect.  Thanks Lenn.

Lenn:
Thank you Shawnta for interviewing me — it’s been a real pleasure.

You can learn more about Lenn Keller, view her photography, and watch her films at:
www.lennkeller.com.
Also, you can learn about her newest documentary film A Persistent Desire: www.apersistentdesire.com/index.html

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5 Responses to Spirit Interview 4 -Lenn Keller

  1. Sabrina Edel-Kaiser says:

    Hey lenn this is joannes daughter from da old biker days of leather & blues..ect!AKA your daughters lil friend (hellol).Love your photography!!!I just moved to S.F & im saving to buy a camera b cuz jr high was when i 1st came into contact w/a darkroom (the kind where u fall in love)Had an old metal 35mm ( w/ an x-telephoto lens)NIKON shot mostly in blk &wht…i am a triple virgo!!!well all my love 2 u & ur daughter.Hey maybe u will c me in a gallery?love 2 c ur next show..??? Facebook “saba shanti suncloud” S.M.I.L.E.S

    • Hi Sabrina, Did Lenn ever get your message? I can email this to her just in case.

    • Sayuri says:

      i FEEL YOU mz wong!i am going through the same thing, late, like eeniythrvg in life. i think 30-ish must be the normal time to do it. but i’m a little slow. i’m like…am i really going to keep wearing this ratty faux fur brown 70s coat that i thought was so cool in college?i just want to throw out like almost all my clothes. but being that i can’t yet afford good new pieces, i’m at a loss for what to do…OMG–maybe we should both nominate eath other for What Not to Wear! Only prob is that I don’t want the humiliation of them throwing out my old clothes.

  2. kali ma says:

    Lenn Keller is a lying cunt. A psychopath and a narcissist who knows how to manipulate idiots who are not street smart.

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